someone check on celine song

my review of her new movie the materialists

Jun 16, 2025

I have very complicated emotions about the collection of images that is Celine Song’s cinematic sophomore attempt, The Materialists. This movie is one of the most highly anticipated of the year, and from the looks of all the promo, it is the perfect romance to kick off summertime. Unfortunately, the marketing makes this movie look like a cutesy rom-com that you can take your girlfriends to, while being a movie with a much more sinister plot and messaging that causes caution and concern.

There are spoilers ahead and sensitive subjects that might be triggering to some readers.

The Marketing

After the movie I posted a story with the caption: Warning! The Materialists is NOT a rom-com!!! People slid into my DMs genuinely shocked. Why? All the promotion for this film makes it out to be a love triangle rom com with three of the hottest leads in Hollywood right now. Two flags is that its directed by Celine Song and distributed by A24. Song has very few credits under her belt, but her debut movie Past Lives was a critical and audience success, even garnering a Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay. Past Lives is famously heart-wrenching and beloved, so it stands to reason that The Materialists would also be a thoughtful piece on romance. A24 puts out some of the odder movies out - usually R rated social commentary, horror, and drama. The Lighthouse, We Live In Time, The Whale…just to name a few. The first reviews for The Materialists had outstanding critical reviews and articles gushing over Song and that she is bringing “the rom-com” back.

Let me make it loud and clear: there is nothing comedic or romantic about this movie. There are a couple excellent tiny pieces of dialogue, it’s pretty, and there’s a couple attempts at jokes, but this movie is a poor attempt at social commentary masquerading as a drama. This movie had so much potential to be a substantial romantic comedy with light-hearted laughs and important messages, and it fails on both fronts.

Dakota Johnson

I have no idea why I disliked her outside of the abysmal Jane Austen adaptation that I hadn’t forgiven her for starring in. I get her face mixed up with Daisy Jones in my head. Before this movie, I only had her as nepo-baby-fifty-shades-girl who was single handedly responsible for the public destruction of Ellen DeGeneres. Now, I see her as what she is: a pretty okay actress. Shockingly, out of the three leads, Dakota does the best with the material she’s given, managing with the crappy dialogue and the occasional gem of a line. She really embodies Lucy, our self-loathing heroine. I found myself trying to coax her in my head: Please, make the right choice, Lucy. John will never change! PEDRO PASCAL, LUCY!

I am no longer a Dakota Johnson hater, especially after watching her on The Materialists’ press tour. She’s funny, dry, and has healthy boundaries I really admire. Hopefully she’ll star in a project that amplifies her talents instead of web-slinging all over them.

her styling in this movie was so so good

Lucy, The Character

As much as this movie tried…I don’t hate Lucy. I could easily point fingers and say how awful of a person she is, and how could she hate herself? She has a well-paying job she’s good at, a nice place in New York, and stunning good looks. And yet, she’s miserable. I don’t have to hate her because she hates herself! Lucy has more red flags than an airport runway, and yet she has two of the hottest men that have ever lived chasing her down. The biggest one is her whiny line: You don’t wanna date me. You don’t want me. The friend I saw the movie with observed that Lucy sounded like a pick-me boyfriend: Nobody likes me. You shouldn’t be with me. You could do so much better. Boo-hoo.

And yet…I couldn’t hate her. Because at times I also hate myself. I look in the mirror and feel disgust. Why, I ask my tall, acne covered reflection, would any like me? I’m talentless, artless, ugly, and mean. Thankfully, I don’t think this all the time, but there are people (like Lucy) who do. I felt more sorry for her than anything else because I am her (sometimes).

Let's go through what Lucy has going against her: an unhealthy parental example of marriage, self-hatred, no girlfriends, and a transactional view of love. For someone who is a professional in the field of matchmaking, she’s more a professional manipulator. She’s the third party service that’s a step above an app. Instead of a mutual friend, you have a mutual brunette fake smiling from behind her bangs, simpering as she tells you You’re gonna find your person. I believe it. They check almost all your boxes.

TW: Assault.

The crux of the movie occurs when one of Lucy’s clients is assaulted by another on a date. Lucy ultimately feels responsible, but she’s told that it’s happened to all her coworkers at some point and essentially brushed off. This upset me the most: it took another girl getting sexually assaulted for Lucy to see other people….as people? Thirty-something years old and it takes the exploitation of another woman to make Lucy realize that gasp, women aren’t just assets, they’re humans with inherent value??? Wild take, I know. This sublot is very poorly executed and made me feel icky watching it. Lucy does come to her client’s aid later, but why in the world was this included in the movie?

One last note: After the incident above, Lucy calls John to tell him. Let’s call a spade a spade: she emotionally cheats on Harry by calling her old flame (who can’t help her at all btw). Why in the world would you not tell your actual boyfriend?? John is emotionally and physically unable to help, so WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM?!

*slams desk* I WANNA DANCE WITH PEDROOOOOO

The Pretty Film Stuff

I don’t know everything there is to know about movies, but I can appreciate when the artists make a marked difference. The color, the backdrops, the costumes, the way the characters are positioned in the shot…that was all really well done. My only critique is that it didn’t really feel like a New York City movie. Sure, they talk about it, but they could have filmed in any big city and I wouldn’t have been able to tell. The streets were empty, and even the scene in Central Park took me a second to register where they were. One review I saw said the same, complaining that the restaurant interiors are incredibly boring and not characteristic of the huge city with a huge personality (and food scene!).

my dream is to have my 20teens and my 20twenties celeb crushes fighting over meee

Male Leads

I am sick and tired of every movie underutilizing Pedro Pascal!!!! He’s featured so much in the marketing and then takes a back seat for almost the entire movie. He’s hardly fleshed out at all, so when he and Lucy have the penultimate nighttime kitchen conversation and he reveals he’s insecure, it falls flat. He reveals to Lucy that he had height surgery to make himself six feet and reveals that he still feels insecure. Lucy’s response is to completely turn it around, make it about herself, and dump him because “they’re not in love”. She sleeps with him for a week and DUMPS HIM!!!! Girl, if you weren’t feeling a little spark then why in the WORLD would you let this go on?? Be so for REAL.

I have a hot take: Lucy didn’t get to know Harry at all. She dumped him after TWO serious conversations. They had sex, nice dinners, and TWO. TWO! Serious conversations…then broke up.

Unbelievable.

I saw one review that said that Chris Evans says his lines like he’s proud that he memorized them, and now when I think of him in this movie I can’t unhear it. He does have one sweet line about seeing a future in Lucy and grandkids and all that stuff, but he knows he’s unable to provide that for her. Finally! Some honestly. Then Lucy ignores this confession and turns it around to make it about herself, unable to engage relationally with what John just revealed.

If I had a nickel for every movie that had a guy who simply cannot movie from what he is convinced is “the love of his life” I’d be a millionaire. This trope is old and needs to die. Where are my mature male characters that acknowledge their side of the issue and move on from someone?? I’ve even met guys in real life who are this way, and it is such a horrible way to live. I went to a Baptist university where boys would tell a girl they liked that God told me I was gonna marry you on the FIRST DATE. Every time I see one of these knuckleheads I’m transported back to those guys who didn’t move on well and couldn’t acknowledge their problems in the relationship. John is the quintessential I-just-can’t-move-on kinda guy who needs to pack his things, move to a cheaper state, and meet new people.

*tiktok sound* how does it FEEL to live MY DREAM?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Dialogue

I don’t know a whole lot about dating (I married my first serious boyfriend, ahahaha) but I can assure you, Dear Reader, that I didn’t have any conversations like there were in this movie. I went with a new friend who is also married, and we both visibly cringed at some of the conversations in this movie. Who in the world talks like this? I wondered to myself at several parts. Who talks to a romantic interest this way?? The conversations were awkward, stilted, and lacking any sort of realism.

What’s more concerning is the number of Letterboxd reviews that praised the dialogue for being verbatim what some of the reviewers endured. I couldn’t believe how many film girlies cited having similar conversations with their romantic partners. Let me say this loud and clear: if you can recall a conversation you’ve had in real life that is similar to one I witnessed in this movie…please seek help. Because that is insane. No one should talk to another human that way. I completely understand that the world of dating is a bit of a hellscape and that a lot of people have issues dating later in life - but perhaps the reason those people are single is because they’re having non authentic, robotic, and heartless conversations with their interests.

i really hope this wasn’t celine’s cry for help lol

Final Thoughts

Part of the problem is that all three characters are extremely selfish:

Lucy sees dating and love as transactional and worthless and only for some sort of gain.

John refuses to give up his long dead dreams and stays in toxic conditions for his own ego.

Harry uses wealth as a shield and won’t bring his walls down for a chance at love even after undergoing a drastic surgery to make himself “more marketable” as a man.

To sum up: the movie ends with Lucy falling into the same pattern as her parents and doesn’t see past her own nose job. She’s friendless, just realized other people are human, and looks down at anybody who doesn’t have money. Harry has self-esteem issues that are linked to masculinity and appearance in a wealthy world where appearances are everything. He ends up as a dating client and will now launch into the same pattern as all the other lost and rich clientele of the Adore matchmaking firm. John needs to pack up, move out of New York City, and forget Lucy.

Even though it's only said a couple times by Lucy, the whole movie hinges on the idea that you only find love once. The story revolves around how John and Lucy are not a good fit in any way…except somehow they’re soulmates. Something intangible ties John and Lucy together and they can’t undo it, so they have to end up together. While the premise of the movie is cute for a kid’s Disney Princess movie, it doesn’t work for an R rated drama. Celine Song tries really hard to have complex conversations about the dating world and finding a life partner, but when it all boils down to you can only love one person and you better not miss your chance! the rest of the movie’s messaging doesn’t hold up at all.

Personally, I disagree with this premise. Love is not “easy”, like Lucy says over and over again. Love is perseverance in the face of extreme difficulty. Love doesn’t give up when your boyfriend can’t pay for parking or set aside his own ego to let you be the breadwinner. Love doesn’t sleep with a guy for a week and dump him after opening up for real one time. Love isn’t stringing along someone. Love isn’t just knowing someone’s drink order. Attraction is easy; love is much harder.

Love is holding your partner’s hair back as they throw up in the toilet at four am. Love is meeting unspoken needs around the shared living space. Love is listening, not just hearing. Love is laughing until tears stream down your face at a stupid video in your living room where no one can hear you. Love is teaming up against problems instead of turning against each other. Love is driving back because they accidentally locked you out of the house without a word of complaint. Love is communicating even when it’s scary. Love is letting your partner know that they hurt them, and striving to do better. Love is letting your partner choose the restaurant or movie. Love is acknowledging the hurt caused and working towards not doing it again. Love is patient, kind, and makes no record of wrong.

That’s the kind of love I wished for these characters, and the love I wish for you, Dear Reader. <3